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Going Pee is SO Inconvenient

Anyone else feel this on a spiritual level? I have so much on my list (seriously, I have sub-lists in my list--not gonna pretend like I don't love them though) each day that I genuinely feel like going to the bathroom cuts into the time I need to accomplish everything. THINK ABOUT IT.

For me, it starts with "oh my gosh, here it comes." Then we move to that sensation where it really starts eating at you and your down to a few options:

  1. Hold off a little longer--get through that first list, those first few classes, the first stack of grades, first write-up, maybe a few things for tomorrow (until your legs are twitching) and then book it.

  2. Sashay to the student bathroom (closer; less of a commitment) and risk that uncomfortable run-in with a twelve year old girl as you bolt into the stall.

  3. Lace up those shoes (kay, unless I'm wearing sandals or booties, which is all the time) and book it to the faculty restroom on the other side of the school, where you risk having to stop and talk to any, and all people/students you pass (enjoyable chats unless someones skipping--prob 95% of the time) but that means stopping when your momentum's really pushing you back to your class; consequently, you waste even more time NOT getting back to your duties.

Somehow none of these options eliminates the following though:

  • Walking away from my responsibilities (literally having to put a pause to whatever groove I've got going),

  • Unzipping/unbuttoning/unlatching my pants (dresses are too rare to discuss),

  • Un-tucking my shirt...and then tucking it back in (GENERALLY I AM PUT TOGETHER, OKAY + there's a lot of un's in this list),

  • Washing and drying my hands (desperate for time, not for the germs that linger in a school--don't forget that flu shot people) .

  • Whisking back to resume what I was doing, only to think of 489 more things to add to my list (I should start looking down as I run around).

What I am saying here is there are only 24 hours in a day, and if I'm really trying to keep my water intake up (I get dehydrated from front loading on caffeine--oops), I will have to continue interrupting my day to take these breaks; SO, what solutions do I have? Depends (they make sense, considering the title of this blog...)? Voluntary Dehydration (dehydration does add wrinkles, so that's a negative for me)? or do I need to start adding "BATHROOM BREAK" in bold to my lists? Porter-john in my office?

As a very famed historian once said, "even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it!" Look him up, he's so knowledgeable, and such a great motivator!!! (How the Grinch Stole Christmas, 2000).

My lists and my bladder never run dry, but God knows I would really appreciate if they did. For those of you who don't teach, trust me. I realize this isn't an issue confined to the duties of our profession. I know this sentiment is echoed through too many professions to count. So, I want all of you grannies who share the same inconvenience to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I SEE YOU, AND I KNOW YOU COULD REALLY USE A PORTER JOHN IN YOUR OFFICE TOO (OR AT LEAST THE ACCEPTANCE OF WEARING DEPENDS ON A DAILY).

Now, if these aren't practical options, here's a reminder that you are still doing AMAZING, you will make it through this crazy day/week/month/year (with satisfaction and STRENGTH), and this urgent bodily function of yours will only build patience and persistence in your commitment to achieving your goals. As inconvenient as going pee may be, please don't risk a UTI to complete a task that can wait until the next day. Your bladder will THANK me (Also, if you have granny gangs, just remember that one thing you will NEVER have to add to your list is "finding your glasses.).

Alright, I've exhausted myself and now I have to pee (it's on my list).



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